Have You Ever Been Envious of Someone?
Have you ever been on Facebook or Instagram seeing all the awesome things people are doing and actually judging them? Or worse, do you find that you’re judging yourself because you’re comparing your life to someone else’s life? I heard someone capture that moment best stating you’re comparing your raw footage to someone else’s sizzle reel.
For the most part, I’m genuinely happy for other people’s successes and dreams coming true. (I really am:-) BUT, I’m human. There have been times when I see a post on social media and think “wait, I should be doing that…” A very simple example from my life is from years ago when a new coach had posted a video on Facebook as part of her marketing campaign.
I found myself judging the video (so embarrassing to share this with you). And then, I judged myself thinking I’ve known video is important for online marketing for years. (I used to work at an ad agency that trained us in best practices for digital marketing.) And, I STILL didn’t have a video online. I made excuses that I was too busy or I didn’t have a good enough camera, etc.
What Does Envy Really Mean?
Deep down I knew the truth. I was too scared. Too scared my video would look cheesy or that I’d be judged for starting this “crazy” new coaching business. As I realized my fears coming up, more negative thoughts poured in.
That is when I stopped and reminded myself of a great little tool that has helped me (and my clients) many times. I like to refer to it as “if you’ve spot it, you’ve got it.” There is a reason I’m being triggered by that coach’s video post. She was being bold and courageous. She was putting herself out there. I wanted to do that, too. I wanted to attract more clients by sharing my coaching business. But, I suppressed those desires. Seeing her video brought those sentiments to the forefront of my mind. But again, I was holding back for fear of being judged. So, I projected those uncomfortable feelings and judgments on her video while also feeling envious that she was making progress in online marketing.
How Can You Use Envy to Inspire Your Next Steps?
Being able to stop and notice that I was being triggered was so powerful. Because of that awareness, I was able to make a better choice about what I wanted to do next. Before knowing this tool, I might have just continued to beat myself up or remain envious of the new coach’s efforts. But, in this moment with my “you’ve spot it, you’ve got it” tool, I recognized an opportunity to be bolder and have more courage myself.
I decided to use this moment to inspire me to put myself out there more. I wasn’t ready to film and post videos at that point. So, I asked myself what would I like to do that would be bold and courageous for me? At that point in my coaching career, I realized I wasn’t great at giving people my card when they showed interest in coaching. So, in that moment, I realized I needed to explore the self-limiting beliefs holding me back from sharing more about my services. And before I knew it, I was giving my card away to more people and setting up consultations more often. Obviously, this was not the same as posting a video for my whole network to see, but it felt good. And, it felt more genuine for me.
Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful
Recognizing that we can be inspired by others (even when we feel annoyed) is so powerful. Then, taking that emotion and using it to fuel our own authentic power is magical. Below are the exact steps you can take to turn envy into inspiration and let your inner beauty shine through in your own life.
- Notice when you’re being triggered.
This should be easy! Are you annoyed or judging someone else?
- List the judgments you’re making about someone else.
They might sound mean. But, it’s good to see them on paper.
- Determine if those judgments are within you.
Are the qualities or actions of another within you, but you’re denying them in some way?
- Ask yourself how to further embrace those qualities?
Be sure you’re doing so in a way that is authentic for you.
When I look back at the example I shared, the new coach I mentioned gets to be herself and I get to be me. No one has to be wrong or judged. It feels liberating to live my life this way now. I don’t carry the burden of judgement the way I used to do so. And, if I ever get a twinge of it, I catch myself and use that to inspire my next step in life.
Where do you compare yourself to others? Can you see a way to turn that possible envy into an action that motivates you to move forward in your life in a positive way?