It’s not uncommon for people to have one area of their lives in order but need help with another – – for example, they may be successful at work but could use some help with their personal lives. This could be due to many reasons. In my personal experience and in my 10+ years of coaching, I’ve noticed that it can be because we only let certain aspects of ourselves come forth in different life situations. But, it’s important to remember that we are multifaceted: We are strong and soft, kind and kick ass. These various aspects can be represented by masculine and feminine energy within ourselves. Often, to get the most out of life, we need to learn to integrate our masculine & feminine energy. After all, it takes strength to show vulnerability.
Integrating Masculine and Feminine Energy
As a reminder, we’re not talking about gender when it comes to masculine and feminine energy. Again, both masculine and feminine energies exist within each of us and are important to embrace. Because of past conditioning from society or our original families, we may need help in learning how to balance or integrate these energies in our lives. We may even skew heavier in one area than another. For example, if you’ve ever been called type A or controlling, you might be demonstrating too much masculine energy. Balancing your dual energies will help you feel whole, centered, and more at peace which allows you to be in a better place to experience relationships you desire and results you’d like to achieve with more joy.
What is the Difference between Masculine and Feminine Energies?
We’re talking about energies that are within us and show up when we’re interacting with others. More specifically, below are some masculine energies listed on the left and feminine energies are on the right:
- Strong & Soft
- Intentional & Creative
- Giving & Receiving
- Grounded & Playful
- Speaking & Listening
- Linear & Circuitous
- Self-disciplined & Sensitive and intuitive
Obviously, they complement each other and provide balance – again, when these energies are integrated.
How Do They Manifest in an Unbalanced Way?
Let me share more of my background to demonstrate how this can happen. Growing up in America with Sicilian immigrants as parents, I learned both aspects. One way these energies showed up in my life was witnessing my family’s entrepreneurial traits while they also worked very hard. The entrepreneurial traits actually relate to feminine energy (i.e., creativity) while the working hard relate to masculine energy (i.e., doing energy or being intentional). Additionally, my Father was an entrepreneur yet held much of the masculine energy in my parents’ relationship as he was the provider while my Mom emanated more of the feminine energy by being softer and more present at home.
Interestingly, I picked up both of these energies and channeled them into being more masculine, independent, and strong out in the world and work force but more feminine when at home or in personal relationships. I realized I compartmentalized myself too much. There is no blaming or shaming here, but I noticed that being too much one way at work wasn’t serving me well. This masculine energy even began seeping in to my personal relationships a bit too much. With this awareness, I began to let more feminine qualities show up at work and in my personal life. And, that is when my life started to change. The softer qualities actually made me happier and more successful at work and in my relationships! I began to lead more with my feminine energy and use my masculine energy to support my efforts.
How to Be More Balanced and Powerful?
There are so many benefits from integrating these qualities with the most outstanding being I was more balanced WHILE feeling more powerful. I slowly learned to optimize these energies by going through a process I created. Try it for yourself. The steps are below:
- Notice how you show up in different situations – in meetings, on a date, with friends, and other areas of your life.
- Journal on what each energy looks like to you in your various life areas (e.g., work, romance, friends, etc).
- Write about what it would look like to have your masculine and feminine energies coming together.
- Provide examples of what this combination would look like in a specific area of your life.
Most of my high-achieving clients tend to skew masculine which impacts their lives in various ways – finding it difficult to relax and enjoy life. So if you find yourself skewing too much in one direction (or with masculine energy), you could take the following specific actions to balance yourself:
- Be open to receiving compliments
- Take on creative projects at home or at work
- Embrace playfulness when sharing next steps on an assignment
- Visualize these energies integrating within you (I have a meditation if you’d like. Let me know?)
You Can Do It
This integration takes effort and practice. And, we have our own unique way of being able to integrate these qualities. Give yourself some time and space to try these qualities on so that you can see what feels good and allow them to eventually become natural or second nature. Let me know how it goes and what you learn about yourself?
If you want help creating a life you’ll love, professionally and personally, let’s start coaching with a complimentary session. Sign up now: http://www.innerbrilliancecoaching.com/connect
Or, if you’d like to learn more about integrating your masculine and feminine energy, I’ll be hosting a workshop in October to talk about balancing your energies for a healthier and happier life. Send me a note about your interest, and I’ll send you the information.