Hi! I’m Rosie, and I want to share my passion for awakening people’s spirits and seeing possibilities. These passions along with my natural inclination to create trust and make connections led to studying and practicing life coaching. I started coaching several years ago and founded InnerBrilliance Coaching in 2007 since I was committed to helping illuminate a path for people to realize their full life potential. I sincerely believe you can design the life you love and feel energized and alive along the way. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to do this too. So, explore with me how harnessing your “inner brilliance” can help you design the life you love!
I went to a panel discussion Wednesday moderated by Arianna Huffington to hear the Dalai Lama and Richard Davidson (PhD) speak about Science, Happiness, and Well-being. Davidson shared 5 interesting facts science teaches us about well-being:
- Well-being is a skill you can harness if you practice it.
- Research shows the brain can change its response to experiences and with training.
- So you can harness well-being through various techniques.
- Well-being is inversely related to your mind-wandering. So if you’re not focused, it’ll be harder to feel happier.
- When your brain is at ease, your body is at ease or can have less “dis-ease.”
- There are 3 components of well-being:
- Equanimity (emotional balance): the ability to return back to baseline after a stressful event occurs.
- Mindfulness/attentiveness: related to point #2 above, with more focus that can be achieved through mindfulness, you’ll experience less suffering and therefor can feel happier.
- Generosity: research shows you can feel more/similar positive feelings when giving as you do receiving.
- We have an innate disposition for well-being and generosity.
- Research shows that even babies 6 months of age have a propensity towards cooperative behavior.
With this awareness, what can you do to practice more well-being? Can you take a new action every day for the next 40 days? I’m doing so as a part of Tru Transformation 40 Day Makeover (transforming through movement, mindset, and meditation). Good luck and enjoy your new found well-being!
Check out this video describing 5 Tips for Success.
They are briefly summarized below:
1. Believe in all the possibilities.
- Look at all options and believe you can go for any of them.
2. Be confident you can overcome obstacles.
- For example, when you go for a drive, you know there might be traffic and other cars, but you trust yourself to get to your destination.
3. Take action.
- Any action – it can always lead you closer to what you really want.
4. Don’t procrastinate.
- The pain of doing something now can outweigh the pain of doing it in the future…until the future is here. Then you’re “forced” to do something but it won’t be as well executed as it could have been with more preparation.
- If you still can’t motivate to go for your goals, then refine your goal.
5. Focus on your goal.
- Be clear about what you want.
With strong conviction and focus, you go for it!
Hope you find these tips motivating!
As I continue to refine my goals and warm weather is approaching in Chicago, I’m trying new tools to stay focused and energized. Since studies show keeping track of what you do helps modify behavior, I thought I’d try one of those apps that helps keep track of the food you eat. I kept coming across the “Lose It!” app in various publications. So, that sounded like a solid one to use. You start by putting in information about yourself including the health goals you want to achieve. The app even helps you figure out how you can achieve certain goals. So, I started the program the app suggested.
After a couple of weeks of using it, I haven’t achieved my goals. So, why am I writing about this app and tracking what you do to achieve goals? Well, I’ve realized that maybe my goals were misguided. After keeping track of the food I ate, I realized I might not need to eat less (as the computerized app suggested), but instead I should be more mindful of the kinds of foods I eat. (I always thought I ate enough protein, but now I realize the amount isn’t in the appropriate proportion to my carbs and fats.) This is good news since trying to eat less didn’t feel right, and I wasn’t motivated to stick with that behavior throughout the week. With my new perspective on what I ate (i.e., my behavior), I’m modifying my goals (not because I gave up on my original goals) but because I discovered a goal that is more in line with what is important to me and found a better way to achieve it.
So, are there goals that you might be trying to achieve and not succeeding? Maybe your goal isn’t right for you or your approach is off. For example, do you think you watch too much TV or spend too much time out socializing? Maybe the amount of time you’re doing these activities is just fine, but you should re-look at what types of programs you’re watching or if you’re spending time with friends who truly energize you. So go ahead and set your goals, but build in time to check in with your goals and assess your behavior. With a greater awareness of my behavior, I was better able to create more appropriate goals that are truly based on my values. Ultimately, these kinds of goals take less energy to pursue, are more motivating, and allow me to be happier in the end. After all, isn’t that the point of a goal?
At first, this comment can sound selfish. But we all know there are times when it’s best to put yourself first. Why is it that airlines tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping your children? Obviously, if you’re taken care of, you can better take care of your kids.
What if this applied to all areas of your life and during all times? This sentiment is especially important during the holiday season. We rush around and try to wrap things up (literally and figuratively). We can end up feeling worn out and depleted.
I was recently reminded that life doesn’t have to feel that way. The other day, I met a dynamic and warm entrepreneur at a networking event. I found out she owned a salon – Pelle Sana Salon. We connected immediately since I knew what the name of her salon meant in Italian. “Pelle Sana” means “healthy skin”.
Kristin (Pelle Sana’s owner) reinforces the importance of maintaining healthy skin. You’ll receive customized, individual treatment in her studio. And the bonus is that it truly feels luxurious even though being healthy is a basic value we would benefit from keeping in mind. So, it’s a win-win situation!
Take care of yourself. Check her out – http://www.pellesanasalon.com. Your skin will thank you for it. Your family and friends will too. And I have a feeling you’ll be extremely grateful as well. What have you done lately to keep yourself healthy?
When I prepare for holiday shopping, I make a list of what I want to buy for family and friends. Over the years, I’ve found that if I’m very specific about what I want to get, I can easily find it. I’m even looking forward to hitting the stores – or these days, going online – to shop. (And I’m not a shopper.) Once I’m at the store, I feel like my trip flows easily. I even get ideas of what to buy for those whom I wasn’t sure what to get…and these ideas seem perfect for them (not a random impulse buy).
This same method of thinking about what I want and “easily” getting it applies to what I want in different areas of my life. When I take time to think about what I want (e.g., a more connected relationship, a more peaceful home environment, etc), I find myself feeling closer to friends and feeling like my home is truly a sanctuary. The clarity surrounding what I want to happen in my life helps me notice when it’s coming my way or new ideas of how to get it.
And just thinking about what I want can make me happy and feel good. When I’m feeling happy, I’m more likely to be motivated to take action towards what I want. So, what do you want? Write it down or say it out loud and notice what happens.
If you’re not sure what you want, treat your life experiences as opportunities to “shop” for what you like. Get out there, try some things on (whether it’s a new form of entertainment, a modified version of your career, or a different type of friend). Be aware of how you feel while you’re “trying these things on”. If you feel happy, it’s an indication that you’re close to figuring out what you want and that means you’re even closer to getting it more consistently.
Researchers agree that we have a set point for our individual happiness (with 50% determined by genetics and 10% determined by circumstances). That leaves a 40% opportunity to impact our happiness. So, how can you be happier?
Although we can set goals and have a passion to achieve those goals, we might need some daily rituals to help us maintain motivation or even boost it at times. If you know what makes you feel centered and inspired (e.g., meditation, affirmations, deep breathing), weave them in to your day similar to a class you signed up for (and schedule it in to your calendar). Or do them first thing in the morning so it can set a positive intention for your whole day. You could even reprise one of your morning rituals during the day to revive that positive vibe from the morning.
If you don’t like routines, then write down your favorite energy boosters on separate pieces of paper and put them in a jar/container. When you start to feel your energy drain, reach in to your jar for something you can do to boost your mood. Let me know what happens after you try it? Just remember, your energy and happiness is within reach!
Check out this study featured in Self magazine on how you can feel happier and spread the cheer to others….http://bit.ly/cQdrh.
I just read this great article in “Body and Soul” magazine about how you can feel your best. The article is a compilation of 17 “tips” to feel and stay healthy. It explains how all of the information out there can be overwhelming. Sometimes, I feel like trying to be healthy can be exhausting! But to feel energized as you implement health practices, read these tips and go to wholeliving.com for more information on how to be and stay healthy. Enjoy!
- Listen to Your Body
- Get Your Daily D (Vitamin D)
- Practice Forgiveness
- Lean on Your Friends
- Get Moving
- Just Breathe
- Power Up Your Breakfast (with protein)
- Get To Know Yourself
- Eat Whole Foods (not processed)
- Meditate in the AM
- Be Grateful
- Have Some Fun (Try these tips with a friend)
- Reach Out (to someone when you are feeling stressed versus hunkering down)
- Change the Channel (tune out negative news or people)
- Don’t Fill ‘Er Up (Stop eating when you feel satisfied but could even eat a little more)
- Be Fearless
- Be One With Nature
A friend of mine sent the link below to an article from the NY Times. It’s about love and on an extreme level, how to not take things personally in life. How many times have we heard that tenet? Well, the woman in this article tells her story of how she did that in her marriage. And she reveals the incredible results for her life and her marriage.
Her story is a great lesson in love, not only to love another, but more so to love and trust yourself. If you can learn to not take things personally and understand that what people say and do most likely doesn’t have anything to do with you, it can be SO liberating. In fact, if you can genuinely embrace this concept, you can be “free” to create your own happiness and sense of fulfillment.
On an even deeper level, this woman’s story is a great example of how practicing self-love and trusting what you know to be true in your heart can lead to deeper love in your relationship(s). That sounds satisfying and fulfilling to me! How often do you trust your gut and don’t let your ego or fear take over, but let love drive your thoughts, actions, and desires? As always, the “love” that we hope to drive us includes love for yourself and love for others.
I planned to have a relaxing Friday after 4 days of working long hours. And then life threw me a curve ball. It was very small one, but it drove home a bigger point for me. When I’m faced with a “challenge”, I have a choice on how I react – - obviously. More importantly, I was also reminded that challenges (even the small ones and definitely the unexpected ones) can help reconnect me to my values and what is most important to me. So, here is the rest of the story and the lesson I was reminded of…
I decided to get some exercise and went to one of my favorite fitness classes. I walked in to class with another woman who I have never met before. We smiled politely at each other and that sparked our next interaction. Since she was new to the class, I helped her find the equipment she needed. She then decided to be “helpful” to me by getting me some equipment. That is when she handed me a 4 kg. exercise ball. It fell in to my hands like a heavy weight (literally).
My mind began racing – trying to figure out how do I get out of using this heavy weight I’m not used to lifting?! In fact, my first reaction was that I can’t lift this for the next 45 minutes. That thought was countered by the thought that class already started, and I didn’t want to waste anymore time getting a lighter ball. Then I even thought I don’t want to hurt this nice woman’s feelings by “rejecting” the ball she gave me. At that point, I knew my line of thinking was getting a bit out of control. So, I took a breath and thought ok, I have a choice here…I CAN keep the ball or get a new one. No big deal, right? Then I took a deeper breath and asked myself what do I really want. And I reminded myself that I’m in this lifting class to push my limits so I can get stronger. I decided to keep the ball and lifted away (taking several needed breaks throughout the class). But I survived and am better off for it!
So thanks “friendly gym lady” for helping me realign with what I want, encouraging me to go for it, and helping me feel stronger – literally and figuratively! So what will you do next time someone unintentionally (or intentionally) hands you a challenge? And, what can you gain from taking on challenges in your life?
A well-known strategy for improving a particular area of your life where things don’t seem to be going well is to look at an area of your life where things are actually working for you. Maybe there is a way to apply what works for you in let’s say your career to your personal life. Even if things are going well for you, you can find ways to make them even better. I recently had the pleasure to take note of how well my professional relationships are going and plan to apply what I noticed works well to family and friendships who I naturally love but might not always get along with as well as I’d like.
More specifically, I had two opportunities to spend time with some co-workers in a personal setting. In one case, it was two current co-workers and in another, it was a former co-worker. In both situations, I realized how easy it was to “be with” them. In fact, it’s always pretty easy to “be with” them – at work too. I am and was always grateful for this fact, but in this personal setting, it was pronounced how everything seems to flow when we interact and how we can accomplish something almost effortlessly. In the first case, it was as simple as making a meal together. I sometimes have a hard time cooking with others in my kitchen when I try to focus on the details of making a recipe while being social. In this case, we all worked together, set up stations and made a delicious meal come to life. It made me question how we were being with each other or what was it that we did to make the experience “successful” and enjoyable.
Some obvious responses are that we respect each other – similarities and differences (always), we asked for help (i.e., otherwise known as delegated tasks if we’re at work), we took charge when appropriate and necessary, said what we wanted without another agenda, and we also offered help when we saw someone else was in need without judging why they needed the help – we just jumped in (like we would on a project). I’m sure many of you already practice this behavior and exhibit these qualities with family and friends. But sometimes, I know (for myself) that I can’t help but let history or outside circumstances impact how I interact with loved ones.
So, these recent instances were eye-opening in that I knew we work well together, but it wasn’t until we were outside of our work environment that I realized that we have developed strong relationship skills that help us work well as a team and have a lot of fun while we’re together – regardless of what we’re doing. What if you take a look at an area of your life that is working well for you and see what makes it thrive? If you’re having a hard time identifying what makes it work, try to take an element out of its natural surroundings like I did and see what you notice. Then apply those learnings to an area of your life you’d like to improve. Would love to know what you notice. Good luck!
I’m sharing an article with you that I was asked to write regarding how self-acceptance is the key to being effective in your life while allowing you to experience real joy. I use these concepts I’m sharing with you when making any decisions, such as transitioning from my established marketing career to life coaching or nurturing certain relationships.
Be the Love of Your Life
We are love and light from the moment we are born. Over time we are programmed to question our inherent sense of love and inner light (our inner knowledge, inner guidance system, and what we stand for OR our sense of self worth). How do you recapture this natural state of love and light which are integral to leading a fulfilling life? By being a good friend to yourself, the way you are to others.
Discover Your Self. Uncover what has meaning for you (not your family or friends or society). Honor and live your life in accordance with what is important to you, to ensure you pursue your true purpose.
Support Your Self. Become aware of what makes you feel good and energizes you. Evaluate any factors that contribute to inhibiting your inspiration and determine how to gradually minimize them in your life. Then fill up your life with more thoughts, activities, and people that bolster your energy and strengthen your foundation.
Respect Your Self. There are many aspects to each of us, all created to help us live in this world. Some aspects may have become exaggerated over time and can do more harm than good. Regardless of their nature, they represent who you are, so it’s important to avoid judgment, appreciate yourself, and embrace them as they serve you well. Simply notice them and ask …what am I meant to learn?
Trust Your Self. Follow your intuition. It is based on your natural inclination. If you are aware of and living in harmony with your true self, your inner guidance system will lead you right where you should be lighting the way for your story to unfold authentically. Trust that you have the answers and you will find them, while you are on your true life path.
Love Your Self. Look at your core qualities and what you stand for in this world, your true purpose. The manifestations of these qualities (e.g. accomplishments on a resume) are temporary; they aren’t as important as your essence which is infinite.
Practice these principles and be your own #1. Self acceptance is key to living a fulfilling life. Notice “fulfilling” implies being full or satisfied, in other words enough. You are (good) enough. You are perfect just as you are now. From this place you are healthier and in a better place to contribute, resulting in solid relationships, effectiveness, and a quality life.
Let your love free and your light shine!